In Mumbai, there's lot of drama...(Part 2)

(Continued from here)

Scene#1 Take#2:

It's late on a Saturday winter afternoon in a winterless Mumbai. It is very crowded today as I drive from one point in the suburbs to another. 'When isn't it crowded?' are my thoughts as I pull into a traffic light. Trance is playing on my car music system just as I notice that I am surrounded by autorickshaws.

A face peers out of the auto stopped to my immediate right. The sweet looking girl gestures me to roll down my car window. And I think, 'Don't I know this girl? I am dreaming? This has happened to me before. Is this deja vu?' Mind races back to the last time this scene was played out. Four months back, rainy night, traffic, same gestures... 'Oh, I know what is coming. Damn...my instincts were on the dot! I am glad I did not fall for that trick last time',are my thoughts as I cut the music and roll down the window.

Looks can be deceptive. But I feel a little proud for having judged it right the first time around. I need to get this girl to understand that she cannot get away with it all the time. A meek 'Sorry!' wouldn't have the punch. I need to say it like she cannot forget it for some time. But, I cannot make a scene. If a guy shouts at a stranger-woman (by now, all the sweetness about her has metamorphosed into wiliness) who is asking for help, those around you will likely trash you verbally, or physically, before listening to your story. Then there will be lot of honking from those behind me who are not interested in seeing where this goes. The inanity of the potential chaos makes me think we'll settle it the simple way. I only need to get a point across.

So, by the time she says it, I am saying it in my mind, smile on my face 'Sir, can you please do me a favour?'. My smile widens, as I lift up my index finger and say ' Ma'am, I know what you are going to say. But you have asked me for this favour once before, remember?'. I think she does not recognize me. But, I am sure that she knows that I know. She knows that she has slipped this time. She also probably cannot believe that she has tried to trick the same guy twice. What are the odds, isn't it? There are some things money can buy, but the look on her face was priceless.

Anyway, I am glad I had recognized that confident delivery of the request the first time around. I see that confidence again, when she recovers her poise and with sufficient stoicism, responds with 'OK' and then withdraws into the auto rickshaw.


(To be continued)

In Mumbai, there's lots of drama...(Part 1)

Called by many names, Mumbai, as a film city, ensnares people's imagination like no other. Does life mimic cinema or cinema mimic life here? In the continuum of what imitates what, the answer must lie only somewhere at the center. You'll find all flavours of life on the street -romance, fantasy, adultery, violence, deceit, drama, comedy etc- as long as you care to step back and observe. When the regular Mumbaikar cannot escape the real virtuality of the city, how can a simple guy like me? Here's are a few scenes from my life in the past few months...

Scene#1 Take#1:

It's late on a rainy evening of an otherwise quiet Saturday. You might have noticed that when it has been drizzling continuously, things kind of quieten down. I am driving alone from one point in the suburbs to another, cutting across several busy junctions. Now, I am stuck at the same signal for the third time that the light changes back to red.

Just as I am cursing the traffic congestion, the autorickshaw that was , directionally speaking, hanging around my five o'clock pulls ahead to my one o'clock. A sweet face of a girl in her early twenties or late teens cranes out of the auto. Her hand gestures to me to roll down my car window. As I see her eyelashes blinking away rain drops, I wonder whether she is looking for directions. But she is in an auto and usually, it is me that goes to an auto for directions, not the other way round. Anyway, my car window hisses halfway down and I wait for her to speak.

She says,in perfect English, "Sir, can you please do me a favour?" I am all the more unsure about what to expect now. "Sir, I do not have money to pay to this autorishaw guy. Can you please give me 80 Rupees?" My mind races. Something is not right about this scenario. Her sweet voice wants me to believe this is a genuine request. Her immaculate private school educated accent tells me she must be coming from at least a middle class home. I cannot make out what she is wearing, but, someone in her position, I assume, must have a cellphone. Even if she does not have one, why doesn't she wait till she reaches her destination and arrange for money with whomever she is meeting? Maybe, she is even going home now. Either way, asking money, publicly, from a stranger, is not a smart thing to do in my opinion. Doing so exposes her vulnerability. Why is she asking me then?

A couple or three seconds pass as I consider all this. My thoughts are interrupted by her voice again, "Sir?". I have to decide whether I want to dig into my pocket or not. Would it be OK to not give her the money? 'Come on fast', I think. I go with my instincts and decide that the straight face and the confidence with which she delivered her request tells me that she is used to making such requests. Maybe she is just wanting to bill her ride on a stranger willing to help. Circumstances do not seem to be dire. So, I just shake my head and say "I am sorry!" and roll up my window. Her face disappears into the auto and I look around to check whether the light has changed. It has not.

In the background of raindrops falling on my car roof, I think about whether I did the right thing. She did seem sweet, after all.


(To be continued)

The art and math of tipping

A tip is a bribe, a tip is a token of appreciation, they deserve it, they are only doing their job, a tip should not be a norm instead be left as an individual's prerogative...these are few of the mixed impressions I heard over a radio channel during a 30 minute drive back from work. For those traveling abroad, I can talk specifically about the States, tipping is not an option but a dimension of acceptance of local norms. Just as you cannot go to an upscale dinner place, some lounges or even the theater (Broadway/off-Broadway) wearing anything less than a 'dress', you cannot get away with leaving just any tip. You will be judged or at least stereotyped.

A recent article in the Economic Times,here, says Bombay High Court has decreed that tips can be shown as a legitimate business expense. This is good in a way since business travellers will be inclined to be more benevolent towards service-providers. Those who lack appreciation for tipping may now do good at companies' expense. I am assuming that the company policies will accommodate this, and why not.

The US thumb rule is that one has to tip around 15 % of the billed amount. As the article points out, one of the contemporary reasons for this norm is the fact that most workers in restaurants are paid minimum wage. But other reasons could be the basic fact that human labor is involved in activities that make up a dining experience. Human labor does not come easy or cheap in the US, given rampant automation again owing to low population levels. You can see this in a drive-through (no tips here), which is a quickie, but is not satisfying as an experience since a human being, typically bearing a scowl, is seen only at the fag end of the process when food is exchanged for money. Additionally, most people who work at just-any-eatery or chains are mostly 'fighting it out' for a larger pursuit in their life, such as education (just one of the many possibilities). Many are also young people in their rite of passage to work life. A combination of all this leads to a greater appreciation, in the basic sense of it, for labor. Hence, the requirement or inclination for generous tipping as you may want to see it.

Much has also got to do with faith, social history and demographic. In an ex-fuedal system or a caste-based system, and to top it in a society where memories of colonial subjugation are still lingering, the 'privileged feeling' of being serviced does not go away easily. Otherwise, why do you need an army of people to clean trays and leftovers at self-service food courts in Indian malls? Patrons do not think that self-service includes leaving a table as clean as they left it (assuming they got it clean). People pay upwards of Rs.200 per head to watch a weekend show at multiplexes, but what they leave behind resembles nothing less than a rampage. Surely, some amount of common sense must come with the ability to patronise an expensive theater.

That on an average Indians are not the best tippers is common knowledge. That 10% of Indians in the US live below poverty line may be a remote consequence of this. If the expat brethren tipped better at the several 'Indian streets' spread across the American geography, the BPL number might slightly improve(several assumptions need to be in place including legal employment). I have seen that Indian restaurants in the US have worked around the Desi resistance to 'proper' tipping by mandating at least 18% gratuity for eating groups of 5 or 7 or more depending on the scale of the place. As it is, this is a norm in non-Indian places.

Tipping is a host's prerogative, but if you are in a smaller group and your host turns out to be a bad tipper, you are in a dilemma whether to disrespect the host by adding to the tip or be unfair to the keen waiter; worse still, if you like the place and plan to come back. I have heard horror stories from friends who have been embarrassed in such situations. One story has the host leaving just a dollar for a $100-odd 'cheque', for an uneventful (read as normal service) dinner at a Thai place in Los Angeles.

Then there is the question of where your tips go. I remember talking to a friendly waiter at the Pizza Corner on Brigade Road. They apparently have a socialist framework for tips. Everything that anyone earns goes into a common box, spoils of which are shared by all at the end of the week. Even if getting a generous tipper is a matter of small chance for any waiter in India, in my opinion, this is a corrupt system, where the inefficient live off the productive ones. At a restaurant, attitude of the servers is what matters and can be easily controlled. So, why should everyone get the same share if some have better attitude than others? This partly why I never tip on my credit card receipt. If the money goes to the cash box, it may not reach the gent or the lady who attended us. Instead, I leave cash behind, hoping it goes to the rightful owner.

To tip or not tip is your own prerogative, but if you will appreciate, as the cliched acronym stands, TIPS are given 'To Insure Prompt Service'.